Updated: Nov 21
Woke up yesterday Hyper-vigilant around 6 AM did some jumping jacks and push ups to move the energy through. Its a conditioned trauma response to having been woken up daily with someone swearing and accusing me of stealing, for years.
Today 7AM Pop woke me up with a bowl of oatmeal and an iced tea.
I am healing in Texas & learning about the Love of Christ from my biological Father.
He says, "Men are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church, in that he gave himself up for her."
I find it a bit ironic that the gaping hole in my heart created by my fathers absence in my childhood is being healed though his presence with me now.
The wrong ideas I had about how I am to be treated by a man beginning to be shattered by the example I see in his treatment of his wife and I.
He makes her breakfast in bed everyday. My old narratives of worthlessness being replaced with new narratives of worthiness in Christ.
Priorities are being reorganized. Ultimately gratitude & glory to God in all things is the baseline.
It's a sensitive topic for many, God, Religion, Faith, Spirituality as it can sometimes be opposed to our bodily desires and inclinations.
When we submit ourselves to a power greater than ourselves, i.e. God we understand what it means to rest and relax because we are putting our faith and trust in that limitless source.
I am always learning, always growing.
I sat by the stream listening to the water and praying with my eyes closed. When i opened my eyes there was a flock of birds circling overhead. I sat in the peace of that moment and felt deep gratitude and surrender for that peace, something I have not been accustomed to. What a gift life can be if we choose to see it that way. With the political climate we are in, I choose to appreciate all the blessings I have and take nothing for granted.
What else can I do? Each day work to be the best version of myself for Gods glory. Amen.