When I started walking dogs, I didn't realize how it would be the exact container that my body, mind and soul needed to process the tremendous amount of emotions I had as I was healing from my marriage/divorce.
Really it could be any physical movement I think, so long as you feel free to emote without judgment.
At first it is very difficult to be able to hold that space within yourself.
What is the first instinct?
For me, I was attempting to control it, to stop the feeling, shame the feeling, anything but let it be.
I remember one really big moment I held myself in extreme emotional processing.
I was at the beach and I was furious.
It felt as if a dagger had been shoved starting from my throat all the way through my heart and into my groin and the dagger was twisting inside me.
Thats what heartbreak can do to you.
It can make you literally feel like utter death.
In retrospect, of the horrors one could face in life, I take my experience with heartbreak as a gift.
What is heartbreak?
The feeling of deep loss and longing.
They say it can be likened to addiction withdrawl.
I was at the beach furious, most likely due to some huge thing that was happening that I felt I had NO control over.
I started to pick up big rocks and as I threw them with rage into the ocean I was simultaneously roaring.
I clawed up the beach on all fours and sat panting at the foot of a large rock.
Sobbing my eyes out and breathing deeply into the core of my being, I started to laugh.
The pain was immense inside of me and in order to release it I found myself laughing.
After my nervous system was calm.
I felt an inner strength and peace wash over me.
It was as if I had found part of my answer to lifes mystery.
If I could breathe into that moment of dysregulation and use that moment to become stronger, that IS the gift.
Today, my baseline is gratitude.
When I encounter difficult emotional moments now, I like to appreciate that moment for the lesson I get to take away from it.
The more I've done this the less that trigger and emotional moment needs to show up.
What did it take?
Daily surrender to the divine. Prayer. Meditation. Affirmation. Consistent Gratitude. Consistent Movement. Cathartic release without judgment. Letting go of relationships that did not serve my highest purpose. Aligning with people places and things that support and celebrate me.
As I practiced prayer and asked daily for guidance and mercy.
I would give thanks day and night and all day and again and again.
I found more and more things to be grateful for.
It took years of these sustained practices, in conjunction with my walks to come to the baseline of gratitude.
Of course I am not perfect, I'm human.
That is part of the point though.
You KNOW I faced resistance and there were days I didn't want to go on those walks because I knew I was about to go into a healing session.
The point is, whatever you're going through, it's ok, so long as you're working towards being more aware of yourself and gaining more integrity and connection with your inner God source.
Right?
Who doesn't want to live a life of virtue?
Affirm with me:
I declare my gratitude, Thank you for leading me to fulfill my highest divine mission and purpose. A life of Love, Happiness, Abundance, Joy, Ease & Flow is available to me now.
I claim this over my life, and so it is, now. I am in alignment with my highest divine purpose, and so it is.
Hallelujah.
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